The Closing Out of a Man

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With the soundtrack produced by: Van Morrison & Robin Pecknold, featuring a guest apperance by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes.

Ladies and gentlemen, this year’s most highly unanticipated film has at last arrived to theaters. One hundred cups of Barry’s Tea later and the flip-flop wearing Irish-American guiri, named Conor, but somtimes called Carlos, finds himself at a flabbergasted crossroads. Expectations and all plans have been thrown out the window. He now embarks forward chasing the restless question of whether his life journey is dictated by destiny. Mixing black humor and authentic human drama, this film may not get a lot of attention, but it might turn a few heads. Enjoy.

I was looking at my blog stats and I am receiving international views! At least from Spain and France. So…I’m taking the drama of the content of my blog up a notch. I have received positive feed back from others about my entries and I really appreciate it. A few crazy weeks later and I am still dealing with the ramifications of all the events that have transpired in my life up until this point. And crazy not in the college sense of the word, but just real life changes that are going to shape up my next 15ish months possibly at least. Where to begin…?

I am receiving more hours of work at my primary school. This is good news! This will give my weekly schedule and income more stability, and I can probably reduce some of my private class hours. Additionally, I am in the final steps of changing apartments! Well, I should say that I’m moving from an apartment and into a house with 4 other Spanish-speakers. Again, this is good news! A month back I had written a lengthy blog post about my living situation here in Arroyomolinos. Unfortunately, I forgot to save it and it was never published. In a nut shell, I explained the sheer hilarity of an American living here in this town. It’s tiny! It’s just a local pueblo. So being here…it’s just so funny. You see the same people in most spots that you go. I like it here, but it just doesn’t make sense for me when the capital of the city is available to live in. My cost-of-living expenses will only go up slightly, and I think that’s greatly outweighed by all the social, cultural, historical, etc institutions just outside my door. It’s very exciting and this change will certainly allow for some interesting blog posts in the future.

Finally, and probably the biggest change, is the fact that in all probability I will NOT be in the United States for the next year. Yeah, I can’t believe I’m saying that. To be truthful, I always knew there was the possibility that my imagination would carry me away for another year, but I never really expected it to actually occur. It has. I won’t rule out a return, but it’s doubtful that it would occur on a long term basis.

I feel happy. I feel that I am learning a lot. I feel that there is a lot more that I have to do here, or elsewhere. There is a lot I want to see, so many more people I want to get to know, so much more Spanish that I can learn…you see, when you think about it, I’m really only just beginning. To leave this year would be to leave a ‘job’ (I mean to say experience), half-done. There are previous professional goals I brought with me to Spain, and I have not abandoned them. Everything I am doing is with the intention of making me a more well-rounded person so that I can make unique, original, soulful contributions to my future organizations and projects.

Funny that all of this decision-making and all of this change should come to its climax on Easter Sunday. It brings me back to one of my very first thoughts expressed on this blog, the notion of being reborn. Well, I think I’ve experienced it here. Who’s ready to join me? (Book cheap tickets and crash in my house and we’ll walk the deserts of Spain and ponder the universe!! :)).

“Long Slow Goodbye” by Queens of the Stone Age plays in the background as a continually panning out helicam shot captures C. Byrne’s last moments pulling out of Arroyo in an autobus…occasional dramatic close-up shots of his face or even a cold zoom-in on the blue eyes.

Fin

The Closing Out of a Man

Written, Produced, Edited, and Directed by Conor Byrne.

Music by the Best

The release of the sequel is only limited by the imagination of its creator.

Where do we go from here?

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The past two weeks…The Tree of Life…the visit of three Americans…Father’s Day (in Spain), St. Patrick’s Day…my re-watching of Motorcycle Diaries…and the incessant early coming of Spring to this country. Outside of that I’ve been reading in my free time and beginning to think about next year. The reading has been great and I’ve got two books backlogged to be read next! Not much to say about my future plans yet hehe.

Truthfully finding it hard to get my thoughts pinned down currently. Paris feels like a lifetime ago, but it’s actually just that the past three weeks have been crazy. I had a couple of days of downtime after Paris, but actually spent that time in bed! I got landed with a mild chest infection after Paris. That trip was one of the best of my lifetime, but  it was wet, cold, and rainy. Not the best conditions when are you walking around for 4 or 5 days straight. It hit me the day after I got back. Fortunately, I am a member of the healthcare system here so I was put on an antibiotic which helped me a lot. That experience deserves its own blog post…if I have the time I promise to reflect on that experience, because it was certainly distinctive to the US.

Well, Sinead and Becca arrived on that Sunday which was as I was just about recovering. I met them in Alcorcon as the public transportation to the airport ended up confusing me a lot…not typical of me. Funny though. Well the girls arrived like American princesses! Becca had a very well-packed suitcase and their fashion was just right for the occasion. The whole event had an emotional impact, at least for me. Here were two countries…two generations of Byrne’s…family who had never met…coming together after 19 years. The story, the human drama there…I found that touching. The Byrne’s of Spain were so kind…the food (paella and a really nice yogurt/cream dessert) was fantastic and the conversation, the jokes, the moments to me were just so precious. I have a hard time explaining it much better than that, but it was special. A movie-like life moment.

The next day I was able to take off work to show them around Madrid…their own personal guiri guide…free! jeje.It was a pleasure. We arrived at Principe Pio and so the first obvious place to take them to was…a Starbucks. And I’m actually dead serious. Becca was wiped from all  her travels and the obvious solution was a ice cold coffee beverage. Anyway, it put us in a fine position strategically because I could show them the beginnings of Gran Via and Plaza de Espana before taking them to my favorite part of the whole city…

Palacio Real, la Catedral de la Almudena, and the Plaza de Oriente. These places need no description, they speak for themselves. We took them in and I think the girls were impressed. The Cathedral is breathtaking and there were Gregorian hymns playing at a low volume over the loudspeakers…it could almost send chills down your spine…that sense of an otherworldly presence, no? That feeling is always an overbearing reality, certainly humbling. We walked through Plaza de Oriente to arrive at Puerta del Sol. Along the way they took in a playful touristy sidestreet with lots of live music and characters. Can’t remember the name of the street, but it was nice and quaint. Puerta del Sol. the center of the country (kilometro cero), the Casa de Correos, the Oso…it’s such a fun spot to bring just about anybody.

Next stop: Plaza Mayor, but not before seeing the Market of San Miguel, which the girls absolutely fell in love with. Had a glass of wine while taking in the scene. They came back here a few more times on their own. Plaza Mayor was supported with a guest appearance by a lovely bocadilla de calamares and a nice drink. It’s a check off the tourist must-do list. From there they walked past the Palacio de Comunicaciones and the Fuente de Cibeles and this was another nice spot for the them. We continued straight up to Puerta de Alcala and Parque del Retiro. They saw the Crystal Palace, the statue of the Fallen Angel, etc…we walked to the exit toward Atocha, and I walked them past El Prado Museum which I highly encouraged they check out in their future days. From there we took the metro to Principe Pio and relaxed in the apartment!

Sinead’s FB photos, now uploaded, actually tell the rest of the story better than I could. There are about 5 hours of writing, minimum, to describe their adventures. They saw Toledo, El Escorial, we took them into my school, we had a ridiculously fancy meal one night…I will convert that event into a short story for a separate blog (more on that later). We were with the Byrnes a good few more times…etc etc etc…

What made it all so special for me was to just share a completely new aspect of my life with people from my old one. That was incredible. Connecting the girls to my friends and colleagues here…unreal. Hard to believe it happened. It bridges the at times unbearable physical distance from everyone at home. And to see the girl’s excitement as they learned about everything…it just lifted my heart. Their spirit and joy and optimism was contagious and I think it brought a smile to just about everybody here. I also ended up doing much more touristy things than I ever have and they really got me moving. I took on the tourist mentality and it was a lot of fun. Besides that…

Just the conversations. You can know somebody for 20 years of your life, but it seems to take the rare occasions for you to truly get to know somebody. Sinead has a lot of great qualities to her, she’s a fantastic person, and this trip helped me to really learn to appreciate that about her. A real kindness and a subtle sense of humor which is usually pretty hilarious when you catch it between her straight delivery.

Aisling’s time here was similarly as special. She is my older sibling, so the way we relate to one another is very different. She reminded me of how fortunate I am to have at least one older sibling to look up to, while she is alone at the top! Sinead and her went to Barcelona for two days alone and I am still waiting to hear more about that trip believe it or not. I know they had a blast and met some fun people at the hostel. The three Byrne siblings had an excellent night together for her last one and we really got to know each other. Went to the local Pub and then talked in the apartment. Sinead left us that next day, which was not easy. Very sad. Note: her flight took off at 20 past 10 and we got her at check-in at quarter to 10 after an hour + of public transportation. Were we stressed? Not particularly, we were sprawled in sleep for most of the metro rides haha. This is the Byrne demeanor.

Aisling and I then had 4 days straight together…what would come to pass? Could the impossible occur? Would the two past rivals/enemies get along?? Well considering how much closer we have become in the past 5 years, it seemed that it might be…and it was. We got along very well. We tend to tease each other a lot, but it’s healthy and it’s more funny now than anything. I learned how strong and unique a character she possesses and I saw her show it in such a great way during her time here. She’s hilarious and cracked me up a lot. We went to El Escorial and Toledo together and also celebrated St. Patrick’s Day on the night of the 16th with Miguel and Sandra in Arroyo. We had the Pub to ourself! Lots of room on the floor for dancing at least.

She went home yesterday and so I’m now…after 2 weeks of straight adventures every day…alone and in quiet in the apartment. I would say that it’s a slightly eerie feeling, and a little lonely. Ironically (I suppose?) today is Father’s Day in Spain and that kind of hits as a further reminder of my distance from home. The positive is that it means a day off of work so I can use today to rest, clean up, and get back to daily living. The past two weeks served to remind me of just how important family is and how we have to work to seal our physical distances as much as we can…

Thank you Aisling, Sinead, and Becca for your kindness, your love, and your reminders of home for me. Until the next time.

PS: The other thing my time with them taught me is that I turn a lot of things into stories in my head…I think I add details to reality to make it more exciting. I’m going to use that inclination of mine and direct it toward starting a creative writing blog…I’d love to set a goal of a couple hundred words a day and see if I could stick to that. I have a lot of material floating in my head. Maybe alternate between English and Spanish? We’ll keep ya updated. 😉

PPS: Seeing as today celebrates St. Joseph, the foster father of Jesus and the saint which my baptism name takes after, I pose a spiritual question for personal reflection. Who in your own life currently serves as a spiritual foster father, or as some form of temporary/transient assistance of some type? They are most likely to be a bit older with life experiences they can relate to your own and can give you perspective on. As I reflect on my past I see many of these figures in my life, but today I ask myself who that is for me today. Who is yours?

Peace.

A Weekend in Paris

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I have just returned from what may have been my most magical moments on the continent to date. I made the decision to come to Paris on a whim and expected a quiet, relatively solitary time away to take in some culture. What I got was a non-stop collage of memories with all sorts of people from all over the world. I actually did not spend any time alone except for my metro travels entering and leaving the city. Anyway, I’m going to use this blog post to write down as much of the events and people as I can remember, because it felt like I was in a movie. Still not sure if I’ve just had a really long dream.

So I stepped out of a private class on Wednesday night at 8:30 with a 6:00 am flight looming over my head. Awkward decision to be made: try to get a little sleep at home, and run the risk of missing the flight, or recognize my inability to wake up sometimes and go directly to the airport. Fortunately I opted for the latter option, and although it was a very strange hour to arrive, I managed to stretch out on chairs and get my sleep there. The flight was fine. My luggage was carry-on, not too much to worry about there, I checked in as an Irishman, and I took a seat with RyanAir. No problems. Spoke with an American girl from South Dakota on Erasmus in Granada. How BIG is that exchange program?? Nice to make some jokes about each other’s states and hear about our experiences in Spain, but mostly it was a flight for sleep.

Arrived into Beauvais Airport, to a drizzling French scene. It appeared to be a small town, I didn’t get the chance to take it in. From there I caught a shuttle to Paris as the airport was about 80 kilometers away, about an hour drive. Slept some more and was in Paris at about 9:30 AM? Wasn’t really sure where to go from there…was without phone and a little confused on my orientation so I figured to just walk it out. I stumbled across the Arc de Triomphe and just as I was approaching it I was called upon, “Hey! Are you American?” “Yep, I am.” “How are you doing? We’re lost here…” bla bla bla. So I ended up getting talking to these two guys from Brazil and as we were all collectively without a clue on the layout of the city we tackled it together. They were fantastic, very very nice. One fellow splits his life between Boston and Rio de Janeiro. I unfortunately did not learn too much about the other man as he didn’t speak Spanish or English, but we shared some nice smiles.

So from about 10 to 3’o clock I took a casual walking tour with them: the Arc, down the Avenue of Champs-Élysées, took a lot at some of the stores there (outfits were typically going for well over a thousand euro), past the  Élysée Palace, drifted past the Louvre, and laid our eyes on Notre Dame Cathedral. We went inside and took it in. I liked it, although I would say that the Basilica of the Sacred Heart struck me more. At that point I was ready for a check-in with the hostel, Le Montclair,  just to take a breather. This hostel receives very high recommendations from me. Will get to that later. Met the loveliest receptionist in a long time: an Irish girl, Leah, and just so nice and sweet. We kicked off with our Irish connection and made banter over that. An American traveler of about the same age made some sarcastic comments during our exchange, occasionally knocking our momentum, but I’m sure he meant well.

Back out! Brunch with our very own Tiffany Teng of TCNJ, studying abroad there for the semester. Nice to hear her impressions of the city as a resident and to compare them across my own intentions and objectives in Paris as a tourist. Shameless tourist :). We parted ways and I saw the Basilica, about two minutes from the hostel…striking. Breathtaking the way they illuminate it at night. I walked through a small market located nearby, did a little souvenir shopping, and bought a ‘hot wine’ which I enjoyed quite a lot. I think it would fit in very well with the New Jersey Autumn scene…in the same vein as our hot cider.

Night time socializing at the hostel! Bought a bottle of wine and spoke to a Frenchman, very particular sort of individual, he didn’t remember me the next morning, then got speaking to an Australian middle-aged man, Leba, who cooked a mean pot of stew which we shared. I never fully got to have a full-out conversation with him, but we have each other’s e-mails and I think there’s room for some really great exchange. I got my bottle over to two Americans. It was an exchange of European ideas that could be taken over to American to capitalize on. At times very interesting, though can’t say I totally hit it off with them. Walked over to a jazz bar to take in for a little, but fatigue told me back to the hostel. I had been getting ready for bed, but got to know my roommates. A Dutchman, a German, two Mexicans, and a South Korean. That was fun! We had some snacks and ate, and as I and the Dutchman had Spanish, our friends from Mexico asked us to try it out in conversation. Very fun!

The next morning was the departure of the Europeans, but the rest of us saw the Museum of Science and Industry. Some English, some Spanish, and lots of fun. We took silly photos and just basked around the city in tranquility. Arrived to the L’ouvre at midday and would spend until about 9:00 there. I absolutely loved it. You could spend weeks there. Got my Mona Lisa picture and the whole experience was just very impactful, between Napoleon’s quarters, the Egyptian display, the Greek sculptures, the castle there…just so much to take in! Back to the hostel to share a wine between the four of us and we connected with a group of medical students hailing from England. Had a little bit of fun with them and then some rest. The next morning marked the departure of my first group of friends. All the contact information is with our South Korean friend so I am hoping that he will send an e-mail out to all of us to maintain the friendship!

What made the biggest difference for me from that point forward was that I managed to connect with the most fantastic group of people I have met in a long, long time in my life, hailing from Argentina. I’m not even sure how we started talking, I think it was a moment of casualty at the front desk, and I say thanks to God for that connection. I was with them for the rest of the trip. There are no words. We were a family by the end of the trip and I miss them so much. We talked and talked and talked and talked…singing A Capella Ben E. King in the streets, Michael Jackson, cracking funny jokes in two different languages, and just making banter…just simple human conversation with no rhyme nor reason. I haven’t felt that naturally connected to a group of people in a long time. We drank Argentinian Mate quite a few times a day, and made our way back to the hostel to sing and talk…it was just so simple…no crazy nights out, just chatting away…and their way of living, their view of the world…to me absolutely precious. Almost like a Latino version of Irish people. That makes for a lot a lot a lot of difference. A lot of difference, but that same charm, that same certain magic that exists in certain pockets of humanity…it was there. Praise God how fun it was. And they’ve impacted me significantly. Some experiences just make a mark on your soul :).

We did Versailles that first day together: 2 Argentinian sisters, their Spanish-speaking French friend, 2 Argentinian best friends, and a 5 Argentinian. Versailles was nice, but overcast weather unfortunately. The property was enormous. It took us a couple hours to walk around it all I think. The interior was of course very elegant, very over the top…interesting for sure. I liked it and talking with the group was fantastic. We  had some food in the town and made our way to the hostel, where we found a group of American girls studying  in Granada and we had fun singing with them and just riling everybody up. Fantastic, bloody fantastic. Felt very tired by the end of the day from all the walking, and had a deep sleep in the room of the Argentian fellows as there was a technical difficulty with my own door. That was a funny situation.

And yesterday we did the free walking tour! We did it in Spanish and after it I felt I had a much better perspective on the city. So so rich. I’m positive I’ll have to return, I’ve barely scratched the surface. So we saw all the sites, all the sites, we got tickets for the Eiffel Tower and we climbed to the top with all the lights illuminated, that definitely struck me. Then we took the nighttime cruise on the river…oh my gosh. That just hit me…there are no words, nor time, to explain it. We had more chatting at the hostel until three in the morning and then to the bed! Breakfast together this morning, and as my flight was at 1:30, that was all. Photos will be up soon, here or on FB.

That’s the trip in a nut shell! AH, and how about the fact that I randomly encountered a TCNJ student at the hostel as I was leaving this morning?? El mundo es un pañuelo.

Basically: great people, great hostel, comfort, gorgeous sites…my mind is still taking it all in. A must see city for anybody. Magical.

Superbowl Sunday

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…and I won’t be watching. Not to worry, it’s a big shame, but I’ll survive. The Giants/Patriots match-up takes me back to my Freshman Year of college and the really great time one of our floor-mates was able to put together. 4 years ago!

I spent the weekend in Madrid and although I had previously been reluctant to be a tourist, I took full advantage of those activities. I was on two bus tours and it’s amazing how fuller my appreciation for the city and history is. There is so much that I must learn. My Friday night passed just fine although I had an anti-American encounter that was a little startling. The individual was not necessarily hostile, but his opinions of the country were extremely strong considering his lack of logical argumentation. Maybe it was the alcohol. I think what stung me the most was the fact that he immediately personalized it all and directed his commentary toward my worth as a human. Ridiculous. We chatted away for a good hour and the positive spin to the story is that he did apologize at the end of it all and I think he recognized some of the errors of his ways. Hombre, speak honestly about my country and what you think, but do it with respect and reason. There are ways to exchange opinions which he completely missed.

It’s always amazes me how fast others can make impressions. The soul, in my opinion, is so infinitely vast (I will never in my living days understand myself) and yet we have a tendency to attach labels and petty words to people in seconds. That fellow “knew” me in two seconds as soon as he discovered I was American. Come on! I experience this labeling here more often than I would in America because I title of foreigner here. To fans of America I think this makes me something to the effect of some super-macho, suave, money-making cowboy who just kicks ass. To those less enthused by the country I think it makes me a minion of Palpatine’s Empire. 

It’s a blessing and a curse. There are times where I feel it to be a great privilege to speak about my own experiences and impressions of the country and 95% of the time these conversations are excellent exchanges. At worst I hear impressions of us as the nation of burgers and, seeing as that is somewhat accurate, it’s a laugh. At other times I just want to be Conor Byrne and couldn’t be bothered to speak about these things, but there is no escaping it. It is obvious that the American ‘brand’ makes a very strong impression on the people I’ve spoken to and it’s important to carry out these exchanges. For me, it’s more that the marvel, wonder, and illusion or hate and disdain seems like such a simplified, childish version of the reality that I see in the country. But it’s like any of us with another nation I suppose. And truth be told, I am starting to ‘get’ that awe of America because there is something magical about the country, especially when you see it from this part of the world. My defense of the country (although it was more a mini-lesson on how to conduct a conversation) was a pleasure. 

Let’s go Giants!

More post to follow soon…

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Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma  which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.